Monday, June 23, 2008

Songs you should never play in a bar

Men's Web site Holy Taco has compiled a list of 14 Songs You Should Never Play in a Bar. (Caution: The list contains some language that may not be safe for work. Don't click if you're easily offended.)


Among them, Sheryl Crow's "All I Wanna Do" (agree), The Killers' "Mr. Brightside" (agree) and "Smooth" by Santana and Rob Thomas (definitely agree).

But others on the list are questionable: Abba's "Dancing Queen," Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Sweet Home Alabama" and Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'." Those songs never (with the exception of Dancing Queen, maybe) fail to get the crowd singing and dancing.

The two must-nots on my list?

Anything by Oasis -- it's such a downer -- and "Crazy Game of Poker" by OAR (I'm talking to you, Dixie's Tavern). That song goes on and on and on, and then on some more. If the crowd doesn't know it, you start to lose them after awhile, and pretty soon everyone is making a beeline for the door.

What would make your list?

26 comments:

Anonymous said...

What??? No Buffett??? There's nothing worse than a bunch of Parrothead 'has beens'.

Anonymous said...

the west virginia song is trash - country roads - dixie's needs to take a hint on that one too

Marie said...

I went to the club last weekend and could not believe I was hearing Miley Cyrus?????!!!!
No....No.

Anonymous said...

As heard at the 'hip' Whiskey River..."The Electric Slide"

Anonymous said...

No Chris Daughtry, ever!!!!

Anonymous said...

Any Pink Floyd but more so "Wish You Were Here". Someone plays it every time I'm at Thomas Street and it could not be more of a buzzkill.

Anonymous said...

NUMEROUS times I've been in a bar and heard the band crank up Sweet Home Alabama...at which point I INVARIABLY stand up and walk out.

I am soooo sick of that song.

Death to Cheesy Cover Bands!

Anonymous said...

Tone Loc's "Funky Cold Medina."

That Miley Cyrus comment just sent a chill up my spine, btw.

Anonymous said...

can you post a list of songs the cover bands who play in uptown during lunch should be banned from playing? Can I nominate Brown Eyed Girl? If I have to hear that one more time, I'ma gonna haveta hurl.

Anonymous said...

NEVER any Mariah Carey, or Celine Dion. I just want to gag on my pretzels.

Anonymous said...

Mustang Sally is another one.

Freebird of course.

Anything by Journey, or Boston.

Play that Funky Music

Celebrate

yuck said...

Country music.

Anonymous said...

Oh gawd do I agree. NO JIMMY BUFFETT!!! and that goes for Barf Brooks also, or yes, any country music.

Anonymous said...

Country Roads (The WV song). My review on that? IT'S TRASH!

Anonymous said...

You should have the lawful right to shoot anyone who purposely plans any song by Celine in a bar. I consider that cruel and unusual punishment to my ears.

Reed Gucciardi said...

One big thing the writer of the the article as well as almost ALL the commenters aren't taking into account is requests.

Somewhere along the line in the mid 90s - Club DJs began to become innundated with requests. No longer content to leave the DJs to their own devices and take what was given to them, they began treating them like large jukeboxes.

Add Charlotte and drunk kids in their early 20s and this is what youre left with - crappy music. These tipsy sorority gals haven't been hearing "Jessie's Girl" since 1983 or "Livin' On A Prayer" since 87, it's all fairly new to them.

Of course, owners and operators acqueisce and give them what they want - which makes total sense - they wouldn't be in business very long if they didn't.

I mean seriously, do you REALLY think a DJ would play "The Electric Slide" in a club these days had it not been requested? Of course not.

It's naive to think particular songs "should never be played in bar" - because alot of them like "I Will Survive" have become a tradition for groups like bachelorettes, etc. Of course theyre obnoxious tunes - but let them have their fun.

You want a list of songs not mentioned in the article that have been beaten in the ground by these cookie cutter "dance clubs"??? Well here you go:

Ice Ice Baby - Vanilla Ice
Wild Thing - Tone Loc
Jessie's Girl - Rick Springfield
Sweet Child O Mine - GnR
Sweet Caroline - Neil Diamond
Pour Some Sugar On Me - Def Leppard
Hot In Herre - Nelly
In Da Club - Fiddy Cent
Yeah - Usher
Margaritaville - Jimmy Buffett
YMCA - Village People
The Joker - Steve Miller Band
You Shook Me All Night Long - ACDC
American Girl - Tom Petty
Old Time Rock N Roll - Bob Seger
I Love The Nightlife - Alicia B.
The Tide Is High - Blondie
Stayin Alive - Bee Gees
September - Earh Wind & Fire
Thats The Way (I Like It) KC & TSB
Baby Got Back - Sir Mixalot
Let Me Clear My Throat - DJ Kool
Bust A Move - Young MC
Billie Jean - Michael Jackson
Butterfly - Crazytown
Cotton Eyed Joe - Rednex
Cmon Ride The Train - Quad City Djs
Da Butt - EU
I Touch Myself - DiVinyls
Humpty Dance - Digital Underground
Sandstorm - Darude
Kiss - Prince
Strokin' - Clarence Carter
Like A Virgin - Madonna
Gettin Jiggy Wit It - Will Smith
Get The Party Started - Pink
Gonna Make You Sweat - C+C Music F
Word Up - Cameo
Respect - Aretha Franklin
Build Me Up Buttercup - Foundations
ABC - Jackson 5

Signbanger said...

Dont forget, anything by the Doobie Brothers! If you wanna play some seventies, try Allman Brothers, Quicklilver, Uriah Heep, Humble Pie!

Anonymous said...

Reed just listed everything I've ever requested at the club. Guess I need to upgrade. Great blog item, btw. And no one actually requests "Free Bird." They just yell it out.

Louie said...

What are the chances Charlotte would accept an alternative/indie rock dance club...possible music to dance to Arcade Fire, clap your hands say yeah, tv on the radio, broken social scene, cut copy, etc.
I only bring this up because the biggest reason I don't like going out in charlotte is due to the music that is played in the bars, its just sad and played out..i understand good hip hop, but what is up with continuously overplaying "jesse's girl" and "don't stop believin"..charlotte has the luxury of a young population uptown, so give us fresh music to dance too already,

Anonymous said...

Dont go on a canoe ride with any southerner Girl or boy for that fact; They keep throwing one of the orrs in next to the boat.

Anonymous said...

The reason you won't see indie rock played at bars, even stuff that is made to dance to like The Rapture, The Faint, etc.. is because to people in Charlotte, bands like The Bravery are what they consider indie rock. The only indie rock artist that could get away with being played is Girl Talk and that's only because he samples pop songs.

Anonymous said...

I'm getting tired of hearing people complain about Journey being played in the bars. You can bet that if you stay in Dixies or Whisky River long enough you will hear it played and that always makes my night! Everyone seems to love it and they all sing along! 80's music is way more fun to listen to then half the crap that is played on the radio. They don't have to change or bleep any words to make sure no one is offended.

Anonymous said...

Louie, there used to be a great alternative dance club. I ahve many fond memories of the Pterodactyl at Freedom and Morehead. Them, 13*13, 4808, Park Elevator, Mythos. Yeah, now that you mention it, there isn't a great alternative/indie dance club in town right now. Jeff Lowery, Penny Craver, Mike Plumedes, where are you when we need you the most???

rsqm3 said...

I finally get to say how much I hate "creed", that stupid songs "with arms wide open" whatever its name. Besides the fact its so full of platitudes and stolen melodies and lines.

Anonymous said...

ATTENTION!!!

BEFORE REQUESTING SONGS, MAKING COMMENTS OR ASKING QUESTIONS OF THE D.J., PLEASE...

CHECK BELOW FOR YOUR REQUEST

1) PLAY SOMETHING GOOD...SOMETHING WE CAN DANCE TO!

The D.J. has to play for more than one person... so what you hate may be another’s favorite song and EVERYTHING played here can be danced to one way or another

2) WOULD YOU PLAY SOMETHING WITH A “BEAT”?

BE SERIOUS! We know of NO songs played in a club that don’t have some sort of Beat!

3) I DON’T KNOW WHO SINGS IT AND I DON’T KNOW THE NAME OF THE SONG, BUT IT GOES LIKE THIS...

PLEASE don’t sing for the D.J. They have to put up with smoke-filled rooms and dangerous decibel levels all night... Do them a favor and DON”T give them a rendition of your favorite song.

4) EVERYBODY WANTS TO HEAR IT!

Oh, sure... you polled everyone in the club and, as their spokesperson, you’re requesting the song.

5) EVERYBODY WILL DANCE IF YOU PLAY IT!

The D.J. won’t. I guess that blows a hole in that theory!

6) I CAN GET LAID IF YOU PLAY IT!

Why settle for one night? Buy the album and get laid for a whole month!

7) I WANT TO HEAR IT NEXT!

The ONLY people who can get away with that statement write the D.J.’s paycheck.

8) IDON’T KNOW WHAT I WANNA’ HEAR... WHAT DO YOU HAVE?

It’s a lot easier for you to go have another beer and figure out what you want to hear than it is for the D.J. to recite the name of every record in the booth.

9) HEY, MAN, NOBODY CAN DANCE TO THIS!

It is NOT advisable to say this when the dance floor is packed (but some people do anyway)! HOWEVER, even if there is only ONE person on the floor, it STILL contradicts the statement.



SOME ASSORTED THINGS NOT TO SAY

If you ask for a song and the D.J. says he just played it, DON”T SAY “Well, I just got here.” It makes absolutely no difference. DON”T SAY, “Is this the only kind of music you play?” If you go to a Chinese restaurant, you wouldn't ask for Italian food. Rock clubs play rock, new wave clubs play new wave, discos play disco, etc., etc., etc. If you ask for a song...BE SPECIFIC. DON’T SAY, “I wanna hear something...anything but this!” Try going to the bar and saying, “I wanna drink something...anything but this...” You can’t complain if you're not SPECIFIC.

HOWEVER, if you ARE specific and the D.J. says he doesn’t have that song, DON’T SAY, “What!?!? What do you mean you don’t have it? What kind of D.J. are you? Why don’t you get into the wonderful world of fast food! You obviously don’t know what you’re doing as a D.J.”...

HE MAY SHOOT YOU!!

-SPECIAL NOTE-

A night club D.J. gets very little respect. They are expected to play everything for everybody. It is impossible to satisfy all of the people all of the time, yet club jocks are expected to do that. If a radio jock tells his listeners a song is a hit, the majority of the people figure it must be “because they said so on the radio. However, 80% of the time that same song was being played in a club long before the radio DISCOVERED the NEW song. So give the D.J. a break! The next time you request a song, stop and THINK before you speak.

Anonymous said...

If you don't play any of whats listed above....most folks will go elsewhere. These songs get overplayed. That's how they become standards...like it or not..they are. They get people on the dance floor. DJ or band..the job is to get the most people on the floor hot and thirsty. I love the one's who say "dont play _____" and specify entire genre's. They then say they want something different. Buffet gets people on the floor. Country these days is even being played in Boston Clubs. It's big. Say what you want but the DJ or band has a job to do. Don't like it go elsewhere. If they are playing what the other 90% want to hear..you won't be missed.